Confessions of a "Perfect" Mother

I don't claim to be a perfect parent.  Or someone who has the "right" advice for every child... Or even my own child in every situation.  Sometimes parenting has me in tears with my head shaking in despair needing answers from all the mother experts out there.  Parenting is hard work.  It's constant teaching.  I find a teaching moment needs to be re-taught, over and over and over again and again and then AGAIN!  Teaching doesn't stop.  EVER.  Infact my mother is still teaching me things today.  Sometimes as parents we think we know best because no one else is raising our children but us... fair.  But sometimes we as parents need to be teachable to.  We need to be humbled, and often it's through the actions of our kids that this lesson is proven.  As my mother would say, "I hope you have a child just like you!" :) Does this sentence sound familiar? hehe... I remember as a kid thinking, YES, I hope I do to, as I'm always right!  hmmmmm..... Not sure I feel the same way now.  Honestly, I hope my kids take after their father with many of his character traits over mine.  But as parents we do the best we can.  At least I will be able to look back and say, I tried my best with the knowledge I had.

As mothers it's easy to judge other mothers when we see children not behaving in a certain way.  I'm guilty of it.  I'm guilty of being that mother who thinks "that child" must come from a bad home, or a home with no boundaries.  But hang on, then I need to remind myself of those other kinds of parents... The ones who do teach their kids.  Who do set boundaries and still their children go wayward.  I might be that mother one day!  My kids are not teens or adults yet, so best I keep my muzzle on before I speak too soon.  I could do all the right things that the text book instructs me to do and could still raise young adults who choose to live lives contrary to my teachings.  It happens.

I look at my parents.... They taught me the best they knew how.  We attended church every Sunday without fail.  Even when I made district in running, high jump and long jump, my parents insisted I attend church instead of competing on the Sabbath day.  At the time I was so angry at Mum and Dad, but looking back I hold no anger towards my parents for being firm in their rules.  They are my parents and that was the rule. My Dad was a bishop of our church during my early years, and by profession he was a Marketing professor at QUT University, so as you can imagine he was very powerful in my eyes.  I was afraid of him when I was little and then as I got older, not so afraid of him.  My parents raised six children and out of all of us, my devoted parents have had their fair share of ups and downs thanks to us kids!  Oh boy,  they're still experiencing the trials now and they are grandparents to over 20 grandchildren.  It doesn't stop when we turn 18!!

There comes a time when children and adults choose for themselves and have to live with their own consequences of those choices.  But as we all know those choices can have an ongoing affect with our posterity.  I'm grateful for my parents.  I'm grateful for trials that have taught me patience, humility and how to problem solve.  My Dads parenting techniques were not perfect.  And often my mother turned a blind eye to reality and preferred to not know truths.  BUT they are my parents who actively tried, cared and loved me regardless of my own shortcomings.  I love my parents.  I respect them and to this day feel blessed to have been born into my family.  I feel blessed to be apart of my ancestors legacy.

With each generation comes new trials, different peer pressures and things that our kids are exposed to that we as parents from a past era are thinking, "WHOA!!!"
 I tell you, I have three children and I just hope I don't stuff up too badly so my kids can look back and say, "Thank you Mum.  You were my rock."

As a primary influence in my children's lives, I want them to grow up knowing they are loved.  I want them to know they are children of a loving Heavenly Father who hears and answers their prayers.  As a teen and young adult when things got hard, I always knew I could kneel in prayer and open up my heart and soul in honesty to my Father in Heaven.  I've never doubted his love for me.  No matter how bad or desperate things may have seemed at the time, I knew that Heavenly Father knows better for me, than I know for me.  This was a wonderful thing taught to me by my parents.  Heavenly Fathers love for me lifted my burdens and gave me hope and to this day, when I feel this way, I kneel in prayer and pour my heart out to him for his help.  I may not be the perfect parent, But Heavenly Father is and he created me so I trust his judgement, even if it seems too hard to bare.  I trust him.  One day I will look him in the eyes and wrap my arms around him with so much love for never closing the door on me even when I closed the door on him.  Parents never stop loving their kids.  They never stop caring and they will always be parents no matter what age we are.

I look up to my Grandmother who is 95 years old with so much love and admiration.  What a woman of faith and endurance.  She has lived a full life. Worked in many jobs, raised many children, lost children through death and has been a continuous reminder of faith in every footstep.  I sallute her!

I love my kids.  I love when they express love to eachother.  I love that they think home is the best place on earth.  This is something they've told me many times.  I even love that they ask those "cringing" questions, because this tells me they trust me enough to express their curiosity's and concerns and I can be the one to answer to them.  What a blessing!!! I love that my children are so forgiving and show Christlike attributes to other children who many not like them.  They are my teachers of how to love others.

Parenthood is a sacred calling.  So as I finish this blog which feels wonderful to express,  I feel peace in my heart that I'm doing ok as a mum.  That I'm a mother who cares.  One who will make mistakes but never give up.  One day I will be that perfect parent like my Heavenly parents.... One day! :)